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The Hero We Deserve

Atlanta, by nature and geography, is a city of boundaries. ITP or OTP? Fulton or Dekalb? Lenox or Phipps? Was it wrong or right when we let that gorilla watch TV?

But the spirit of Atlanta is unity, singularity, solidarity and strength because of our diversity. It’s lemon pepper and chicken wings. It’s the Journal and the Constitution. It’s Antwan Patton and André Benjamin. Bones and The Varsity. The Plaza and the Fox. Bankhead and Buckhead. It is the Cyclorama and the “Squidbillies” episode about the Cyclorama. When Atlanta comes first, all other differences do not matter. 

And that’s why we need to bring back Izzy, the set-up-for-failure mascot of the 1996 summer Olympics. 

Izzy’s only real shortcoming was being completely ahead of their time. And really, that’s on us. 

The 90s were not the heyday for new mascots. After the Phanatic and the San Diego Chicken, we, as a nation, definitely slacked off in that area. We probably felt like we had succeeded and could move on to more important or serious things. But what is more important or more serious than the opportunity to represent our unique and multifaceted culture to the entire world through one, singular, six-foot-tall creature?

But how do you do that, exactly? How you you distill the culture of a city like this into one furry costume? How do you combine all of our disparate parts into something that resonates around the world? 

The answer, at the time, was this Frankenmascot of marketing executives’ opinions. You can practically see the art director’s exasperation in Izzy’s own eyebrows. The national and international media didn’t get it; talked shit about Izzy every chance they got. And then one of our own, Mike Luckovich, made fun of Izzy in our hometown paper, our daily operations manual, the Atlanta Constitution. Izzy wasn’t included in the Opening or Closing Ceremonies. Izzy was a victim of bullying from his own clique. The people who should have stood up and said something didn’t. And what happens when good people don’t fight back? Their weird mascot vanishes, never to be heard from or seen again. 

Atlanta is a city that, if anything, acknowledges failures out loud and pushes forward, hard. And just as there is no phoenix without a fire, there is no Izzy redemption arc without a rock bottom. 

Here and now, in 2024, I think Izzy would receive a much more polite welcome, honoring the hospitality the South is supposedly known for. In a time where we appreciate the esoteric and the abstract, and embrace Gritty, The Stanford Tree and that hideous abomination Mr. Met, I think we could give Izzy the chance they deserved. Because while Izzy may not directly represent much about our city — the Civil Rights Movement, President Jimmy Carter, Magic City, the world’s busiest (and most intuitively laid out) airport, Coca-Cola, the So So Def billboard, Fontaine’s, Killer Mike and Ted Turner — Izzy represents something you can’t categorize. Something you need to see to believe. Something that somehow shouldn’t work, but instead works just fine, thank you very much, and if you don’t like it, there is a Delta airplane waiting to take you, non-stop, anywhere else you’d rather be. 

So Izzy, if you’re out there, think it over. We’re not perfect, but that’s part of what makes you one of us. 

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Babies

Last weekend, at a lake house, while everyone else was outside, my three-month-old niece and I had a nap on the sofa.

I wish and I hope she never has to fight for anything.

But I know she will.

Because when it was time to wake up, she had a fistful of my shirt in her hand and would not let go.

And I wanted to tell her she never has to let go. The future will need that fist and that grasp more than it needs almost anything else.

But she already knows.

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My Friend, the real Ted Lasso

The job I have, I mean, there’s something transcendental about it. I can’t really explain. It’s kind of like being in a cult? But it’s not a cult. We don’t have a compound. Actually, the way our job works, we all end up spread out, maybe just handful of us at each place who really get it. My last job I was basically on my own for almost ten years. My new job, I have a team of three (including me). 

In December, 2020, I applied for a new job. One of my friends was leaving her role, and thought I might be a good fit, so I applied. It took seven months, but then I got to move to Richmond, Virginia. While I was moving, all my stuff packed up in my old condo, en route to my new apartment, waiting on emails and calls from real estate agents and brokers, I watched “Ted Lasso.” I wept through the entire first season. (If you haven’t watched the show, basically, it’s about an American football coach who moves to England to coach a soccer team, in Richmond. Yeah, kismet.)

I have often compared my career — advising college student media — to college athletics. I can run the drills, the practices, give feedback after the games, but I’m not allowed on the court. Actually if I go on the court, it’s a foul. This is the way I explain it to outsiders. And my parents. 

But, I mean, the weeping, it wasn’t really sadness. It was recognition. Somebody, a lot of somebodys, they get it. What it means to be a fan, a supporter, the adviser. The Adviser. The person who straddles the fence, professionally, between college administrator and student advocate. It’s not easy, but for some people, it’s natural. It works. And we love it. 

And my friend Kelley loved it. And I am heartbroken she can’t see the next season. 

But, I’m also OK. If, in Kelley’s world, “Ted Lasso” never has a final season, then Kelley Lash never has a final season either. 

Kelley was it. Service leadership, students adored her, ultimate volunteer. I remember a convention where the airline lost her bag so she just went out and bought all her same clothes. She was most upset about her hair straightener. 

And she was a Georgia girl. We’re like a cabal, the Georgia faction of college media advisers. I don’t even work in Georgia anymore, but I’m still in the clique (shhh). Journalism is hyper-local, so our vibes are, too. 

But what Kelley really is, enduring, is kindness. Yes, I’ll add another slot of volunteering. Yes, I’ll talk to your yearbook students. Yes, I’ll go get cheesecake with you at midnight. Yes. Yes. Yes. The spirit of yes. The spirit of more, more, more. 

And that Kelley loved “Ted Lasso,” and that Kelley’s Twitter will forever be “Be curious, not judgemental,” well, it makes me want to cry just like “Ted Lasso” does. But it isn’t sad crying. It’s “I know” crying. It’s worry. How can I live up to her expectations? How can I honor her? How? I mean, I know how because I know I have to.

I can show up. I can work hard. I can think about her. I can think about her smile and know that if she was here, and I said hi, she’d smile at me. And that’s how I know I knew the real Ted Lasso. 

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I’m so tired

That’s it. That’s the post.

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What it Takes

On Dec. 12, 2019, my stepfather’s father woke up and told his wife he felt like going to the doctor. She said, you have an appointment today, or do you mean go to the emergency room now? And he said you better take me. So my grandma got up to get dressed, and by the time she got back to their bed, he was gone. He had been sick that spring, but recovered. We didn’t know he was dying. 

In late April, 2020, my father’s mother broke her nose, and was rushed to the ER, and on top of the lung problems she was already having, by May 3, she had died. None of us could see her because of the risk we’d bring Covid into the hospital. Hospitals were closed to visitors. I got to watch, for a few hours, from outside on a patio at her hospice, but she never regained consciousness. 

My father’s father went into memory care after his wife passed away. When he went in, he tested negative for Covid-19. In five months, he was exposed three times. He tested positive again last week, was in the hospital Friday, hospice Tuesday and passed away this morning. We never got to see him either. 

I understand it’s a luxury to even have four grandparents at my advanced age of 38. And I had seven total. I lost my first at 7 years old, and there’s nothing that prepares you for that. But really, there’s nothing to prepare you for it any time. You live your whole life knowing, as a rule, that your relatives older than you will probably die before you will, and you just compartmentalize that and tuck it away in some “deal with this another day like Scarlett O’Hara” folder, but then it comes back.

And then three of your grandparents die in nine months and you don’t get to say goodbye to any of them. Humans can’t control viral pandemics, nor can they control time. 

Bill, Robert, Jean, CL, Betty and Stan: you are inseparable parts of me. I have hand-picked bits of your personalities to carry on in your stead:

• Bill: humor, cynicism, sarcasm

• Robert: fun, great food, dangerous cars

• Jean: joy, card games, great clothes

• CL: never taking shit from anybody, smart-ass-edness, will encourage others to do things in the spirit of “well, hell baby, if that’s what you want”

• Betty: acceptance, kindness, ready to stand over our Scrabble games with the dictionary as an objective third party

• Stan Sr.: listening, ice cream, comedy (he’d wake me up if “Who’s On First.” or Red Skelton was on TV, drag me out to the living room in my jammies)

And if that’s what I get, as the amalgam of my forebears, that’s what I get. And I will take it, fairly and openly and evenly. But I will also take what they showed me: acceptance, indulgence, pride in my accomplishments, pride in me being good at things they taught me (you never wanted to play Spades if me and Beba were partners), and love and love and love. I will also take the sadness, the weight, the burden of carrying this on and the challenge that nothing will never be what it could have been. I’m young enough that I can decide later if that will be a huge regret or just one of my many smaller regrets. 

I have one grandmother left now, my stepfather’s mother. We’ve known each other more than twenty years so our opinions of each other are pretty set. But she likes me. I’m OK. And, where’s the fun if she had 15 grandkids who all totally agreed with her? Somebody’s gotta be the outlier. The black sheep. The lost sheep.

Nothing’s easier, you’re just older and maybe stronger, slicker, so all of it just rolls right off your back like a duck.