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changes

jessica — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 01:00:55 +0000

I’m starting to make a plan to change my life. I’m not big on discussing it, but I’m trying to make a five-year plan and set goals and move forward and do things. I’m tired of feeling like a useless slacker that hasn’t accomplished anything with my life. Right now I have about 10 viable ideas, which I need to pare down to just one. And then I need to make that idea into a set of plans and goals.

I have to change everything.

On hiatus

jessica — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:35:41 +0000

Indefinitely.

that little experiment will end in tears

jessica — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 22:00:01 +0000

Shopping today. Checking out and the woman at the register next to me is trying to get the guy in the front of the line’s attention because she can take whoever’s next. I walk back to him and tell him her line is open, but while I’m walking, someone cuts in line. So then the guy yells at me, in a busy store in a really nice mall, about how stupid I am and now he’s lost his place in line and he doesn’t need any of my kind of help. I can’t let him cut in front of me because the other cashier has already started ringing up my stuff.

“I’m sorry,” I say to him. And then I turn around and say I’m sorry to both my cashier and the other cashier.

“Don’t worry about it,” my cashier says.

“No, I’m just that kind of person. I’m going to feel bad all day,” I say. And she kind of frowns at me, like she’s disappointed in me or like she disapproves of me.

Because I’m nice, people think I’m stupid. Maybe I am stupid. I deserve to be, as punishment, I guess somehow.

I should just gain all this weight back so I can just wear my old clothes and not need new ones that fit.

dear tivo, part two

jessica — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 00:37:00 +0000

Sup, TiVo,

You know, like, we’ve had some good times and some bad times. Like, the times you record stuff with Justin Theroux and Josh Charles. Those are good times. And the times when you record nine hours of Mad About You. Those are bad times.

We need to talk about your relationship with the DirecTV. I know I didn’t ask you if you wanted to work with him, but like, your consistent communication problems are really bothering me. Like, I’m sorry if DirecTV tells you that Wings is on, and then you try to change it to the Wings channel and instead I get thirty minutes of an infomercial for a salad dehydrator or something that organizes my fruit while I sleep. Or when you say you’re recording “Weekend at Bernies 2″ and instead you record three hours of a BLANK SCREEN with a phone number for me to call to buy a channel I don’t want because you’re on the WRONG CHANNEL and “Weekend at Bernies 2″ is on a TOTALLY DIFFERENT CHANNEL and you AREN’T RECORDING THAT EITHER.

Look TiVo. I know I love you, but for $12.95 plus applicable taxes and fees per month, I expect you to deliver. And when I say deliver, TiVo, I MEAN if you SAY I CAN SEE “WEEKEND AT BERNIES 2″ I want you to MEAN I CAN SEE “WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S 2.”

TiVo, really, don’t PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS. I just can’t deal. I’m fragile since Conan left, but I know he’s back now (NOT THAT YOU NOTICED AND RECORDED THAT), and things will get better.

I’m glad we had this little chat.

-ME

p.s. Thanks for the E! News Jon and Kate special. And thanks for all the Vh1 Charm School. I’m sorry I treat you bad baby, I just really love “Weekend at Bernies 2,” ok?

general idiocracy

jessica — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:43:12 +0000

So, over on my favorite copyeditor’s blog (You Don’t Say), today’s post is about how many people are calling Sonia Sotomayor an immigrant, or a daughter of immigrants. She’s Puerto Rican. Puerto Rican citizens have been granted U.S. citizenship since 1917 (more than 90 years ago). Puerto Rico is part of the United States.

My curiosity with the use of the word “immigrant” though is this: Are the writers/editors misusing it to make her look like an outsider or to make her look like a person who overcame adversity to get where she is? And then, politically, how does this affect readers? When I read about immigrants or children of immigrants who have worked hard and achieved things, I think, “Well, that’s what America is all about. Good for him/her!” But people of other political leanings might think, “Ugh, another immigrant coming to take a job from an American!” (However, that’s kind of a difficult argument to make, since if you go back a few generations, excepting actual Native Americans, we’re all immigrants’ children.) (Plus, as mentioned, Puerto Ricans aren’t immigrants.) (Plus, also, I mean, it’s not like a ton of people are qualified to be Supreme Court Justices, you know?)

I don’t like to get political on here. I’m more talking about how words have completely different connotations to people, and how we’re manipulated by them, for better or worse.

meanwhile, back at the ranch

jessica — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:03:24 +0000

I have:

• Rearranged my bedroom furniture
• Been to a doctor (I have problems, but not big ones)
• Watched half of Generation Kill (excellent, btw)
• Traveled a lot
• Worked a whole lot
• Gotten a haircut I enjoy very much

I wish I wasn’t so busy all the time. And I wish I didn’t hate fun so much.

secondhand swordfish?

jessica — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:30:15 +0000

So, in the middle of this month-and-a-half of crazy traveling and people visiting and events and stuff to do, yesterday I decided to rearrange my bedroom furniture so it makes sense. The room is L-shaped, but the natural place to put the bed (in one of the L ends that isn’t where the closet is, is where the radiator is. But now that it’s warm enough I don’t need heat in my room, I can put the bed there. However, there are some unforseen consequences. The bed is now in between the wall with my nightstand and alarm clock and the glass door to outside. I’m really sensitive to light when I sleep, so I can’t face the clock (lighted clock face), or the door (streetlamp). I can’t wear a sleeping mask like I do on the weekends because my alarm clock has a flashing light instead of a buzzer or a bell. So I’m going to get a blackout curtain for the door and see what happens. The room though, now, feels twice as big. The bed used to be in the corner of the L, sort of blocking the two L ends from each other. I had to climb over the bed to get to the closet.

My 2nd problem is that now there’s a blank wall in my bedroom where the bed used to be, and I want a giant taxidermied fish to hang there. Anybody know where to get one secondhand?

mystery

jessica — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 15:35:04 +0000

So, this weekend I’m going to Myrtle Beach (which, according to CNN, is on fire). Explainame this, weather people: How will it be 10 degrees warmer in D.C. than in Myrtle Beach? It has “Beach” in the name. It should, by definition, be warmer.

rabbit surprise

jessica — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:42:53 +0000

So, last night I came home from the airport around 7:30, came in and got settled and then went to move my car to a non-illegal parking space. When circling my block, I saw what I thought was a kitten up against the curb on the side of the street. I parked, and got out to check on it, and when I got closer, I realized it was not a kitten. It was a very cute, brown, floppy-eared fluffy bunny rabbit.

I’m not joking.

I live on a pretty busy street, and I didn’t want him to get hit by a car, so my neighbor and I cornered him easily and I caught him in my jacket, which he immediately peed in. We got him into a cat carrier and gave him some carrots and he spent the night in my apartment. He’s incredibly tame, and will eat out of my hand, and when I open the carrier, he’ll rub his head against my hand. So, he’s obviously somebody’s pet rabbit, I just have to find out whose. My neighbor posted it on the Moms on the Hill listserv and I put it on Craigslist, and when it stops raining, I’ll put up some flyers.

He’s a sweet bunny though, and so soft. If you’ve never petted a live bunny, I suggest you go find one and pet it immediately. It kind of takes all your problems away for a minute.

oh, the places you’ll think you’re going

jessica — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 13:25:22 +0000

Last Tuesday I flew from DC to Tucson. It took a day, two flights (through Houston), and then I worked pretty much 12-hour (or longer) days Wed-Sat. Now it’s 6:22 a.m. local time and I’m in the Tuscon airport waiting to fly to Phoenix, then Houston, then DC. I get home at 6:53 p.m. eastern time.

Friday I leave at 5 p.m. for Myrtle Beach, and come back Sunday night. The next weekend my grandparents visit, the weekend after that I go to Spartanburg for Mothers’ Day (another Friday-Sunday trip). I get tired just thinking about it.

And it wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have so much work to be done between now and Tuesday. If I just write what I can today and email it in for tomorrow, then I actually can take tomorrow off (like I’m supposed to).

I have a new idea for a book. It’s just the tiniest little inkling of an idea but I really like thinking about it.